I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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