out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
