The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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