Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
