Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize