Plan B is the new Plan A
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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