I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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