what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
