Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize