btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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