we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize