i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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