I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this will be a night to untag.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
