What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize