its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
