your thong is hanging out like whoa
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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