I love black thongs
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
