I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
