Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
