can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
