this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
