My first STD was from a foam party
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
