I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
