Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
