Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I deserve to be covered in dicks
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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