you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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