My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
