What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
