then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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