You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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