The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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