i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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