he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
