umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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