Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
