We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
