can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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