i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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