when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
