You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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