Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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