I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize