remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
