if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
