I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
