My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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