New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
