therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
