How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
