I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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