If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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