This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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