Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
