my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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