why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
