omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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