Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
