I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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