you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
