I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
