Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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