Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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