It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
