Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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