'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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