I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
